2009: A year in review (part 1)

January:

♥I rang in the New Year at Mad Maggie’s, rocking out to the Smoking Popes.  It was a big deal because I had been dealing with a lot of pain and avoiding shows and bars because of it.  Lots of fun.

♥Also started off the year with my face on the cover of Elgin’s 2010 budget book, which made me a local celebrity of sorts.  T’was maybe a bad omen because of all the cuts that were made.

February:

♥I can’t really remember February.  Records show this is when I began my “Elgin Shopping Experiment” in an attempt to only spend money locally.

March:

♥My boyfriend (at the time) and I traveled to Washington DC and loved it.  I was lobbying at the Bike Summit and had an opportunity to meet with ten representatives or their staffers.  Great experience, but also solidified that I’m not interested in being involved in national-level politics.

♥I canceled my birthday celebration because I wasn’t feeling well.  Later found out the rumor mill decided it was because my man & I were fighting.  Felt very sad that no one would just take my words about my pain/illness at face value.

April:

♥I became an elected official in a local office–library trustee.  The experience was eye-opening.  It showed me how many people don’t follow elections or vote at all, and out of those who do, how many don’t understand what’s going on.  Many people who voted for me thought this was going to be a full-time paid position.

♥I moved out of my 2-bedroom apartment in the North East Neighborhood into a 3-bedroom historic house in Gifford Park.  The house was actually cheaper than the apartment by $200/month because I moved in with a roommate.

May:

♥Threw a gigantic housewarming party at said house.  It was seriously packed.  My brother and his friend played jazz.  People brought more gifts than I ever expected.  Worlds collided.  My parents and my (ex)boyfriend’s parents met each other for the first time.  City Council-types chatted up community college drop-outs.  I loved it.

June:

♥I had the unique experience of interviewing, hiring, and managing Elgin’s first Bike Ambassadors.  It was a fun time and doesn’t look too shabby on the resume either.  The BAs were two friends of mine so we had fun.  They spent the summer riding bikes around Elgin, encouraging others to do the same and spreading safety information.

♥Another unique experience/resume builder: I co-taught a Master’s-level college course, in the grad program I graduated from.  Being asked was an honor, and the extra money didn’t hurt either.    Topic was bike planning.  I have opted out of teaching it next year, as I see myself going a different direction.

♥I went to the ER for the first time in my life.  With the weather warming up I had begun feeling better physically, and one night I stayed out until 3:30 am drinking beer with old friends.  The next day I woke up in great pain, and three days later a throbbing was starting in my chest and shooting down my arm.  Turned out to be nothing serious, but it hurt and was scary.

[Via http://elginjessica.wordpress.com]

Hello! My name is Kerstin, and I am currently recovering from Glandular Fever, also known as the Epstein-Barr Virus (EBV) and Mono.

 For those that have experienced or witnessed it, you understand what a difficult time it can be. In my attempt to understand, accept and recover from Glandular Fever, I have searched hundreds of sites and read much on the subject.

 Do you know what I found? The majority of information out there is about describing the symptoms and prescribing ‘rest’ as the only treatment. Not satisfactory, if you ask me!

Having gone through this experience, the most helpful thing was speaking with others who have had Glandular Fever, Chronic Fatigue and/or Fibromyalgia. Only they can truly understand the physical, mental and emotional impact these illnesses have and help you through it.

But what if you don’t know others who have had it? Or what if you are just too damn tired to get out there and ask? Then this is for you!

This site’s mission is to bring the experiences of fellow Glandular Fever sufferers together, in a way that anyone can access, anywhere, anytime – especially those that need it most: those too bedridden and tired to be able to go out and speak to others.

So please, help the many people current suffering from Glandular Fever and CFS by sharing your story!

Anyone can share!

Glandular Fever, Chronic Fatigue or Fibromyalgia – we can all help each other!

Or perhaps you are a family member or friend of a sufferer – fantastic! We’d love to hear your experience on the other side of these illnesses.

[Via http://glandularfeversupport.wordpress.com]

hoping for better

i was hoping to get into something lighter but so far today has been very grim. i’m finding myself completely paralyzed in my mental state, not being able to do anything. i have been at the mercy of my emotions for a few days now, but it got a lot worse last night and spilled onto this morning. i’m crying uncontrollably, my anxiety is so high it’s hard for me to do anything without freaking out, and the fact that i am in such a state is probably the scariest thing i’ve had to go through in a long time. not to say that my life isn’t scary, because it most definitely is. every day i fear that the pain in my body will not go away, that i will always hurt physically and be malfunctioning. but we always say: i will get through this because i’ve been through worse. i’ve been though major depression, anxiety, i’ve battled demons, past and present, and in many ways i seem to have emerged triumphant.

but today i feel like i am right back to where i started. of course that isn’t entirely true, because i used to suffer from terrible internal dialogue and used to not understand many of the things i do today, but the strength with which my emotions are ruling my thoughts is reminiscent of the past. and that is the scariest feeling of all. i don’t want to lose myself again in this big dark cloud i know too well. i’ve worked so hard to rise above, to see the sunlight, i don’t believe i have the strength to do it all over again.

although now i find myself wondering about something entirely new. i can’t help but feel like maybe this lurking darkness never quite went away, but i just managed, throughout the months and years of battle, to tuck it away into the cells of my entire body. that instead of getting over my depression, i was storing all my hurt and pain into my organs and my spinal chord, hoping they would find a home there and i wouldn’t have to deal with them again. the physical repercussions of anxiety and depression may have left a lasting mark on my body (as i have thought for many years now), but i’m now thinking that it’s the anxiety and depression themselves that are still constantly eating away at it. and it isn’t just a question of being too stressed out and then having physical symptoms, no. i have had been long periods of feeling more relaxed and more at ease and the pain did not subside. one thing i know for sure is that my body is not capable of dealing with all that anymore (it will give up on me one day). but is my mind capable of dealing with it any better? i don’t know, and again, this scares me to death.

so now what am i to do? i find myself at a loss, although that isn’t anything new. i’ve been to so many specialists to try and heal my body. i know i haven’t ’seen them all’, so i can keep looking, but i won’t pretend that i am not somewhat discouraged. doctors all say i am ‘perfectly fine’, if not just a little too stressed out. but all alternative medicine specialists agree that i am not fine at all: constant exhaustion, debilitating back problems, pain all over my body, never-ending headache, and many more issues i don’t want to get into. they all offer some help, from natural supplements to breathing exercises, but i haven’t found anything that truly has made a big difference. a few days ago i saw an osteopath, while suffering from a migraine. he did a very gentle manipulation, where he held my head at the base of my skull. no strong pulling, just gentle pressure. i barely felt anything at all, aside from a certain nervousness around my chest area. he said it would work the nervous system and maybe release some tension in my body. it’s hard to say if that is really it, but if his manipulation did play on the nervous system, then he may have forced my body to release some of that anxiety and depression, which could explain why i have been feeling like i do the last few days? and wouldn’t that say, that in order to heal my body, i have no choice but to work more intensively on healing my mind?

[Via http://ringthebelle.wordpress.com]

New Links in Alternative Pain Therapies Posting

Looking for alternatives

If you check back to the Alternative Pain Therapies List blog posting, you will see I now have links to biofeedback and nutrional therapy. Again, these are just starting points. I know that  fibromyalgia folks have built strong networks and support groups. Perhaps someone from this network could add to the alternative therapies links and suggestions.

[Via http://phylor.wordpress.com]

I Gotta Laugh Or Else......

You well see all the tears….still not sleeping but it’s a good thing I guess cause if I was a sleep I wouldn’t have found the water and the hole in my dinning room ceiling. This is getting to be a habit and I know it’s not me because there is patch and repair marks on the ceiling that shows it has been a problem in the past. And not the first time this has happened to me….same ceiling just different spot….. before from the AC and the bath tub pipes and it’s the toilet part of the pipe has rusted through and water has been flowing into the crawl space until it got soaked wet and heavy enough to suddenly break through and drain on to my dinning room…lol…. gotta keep laughing cause I really feel like crying…..then my youngest son gets up and since it’s now after midnight…. aah like 4 to 5 am and it’s his 19th birthday and he is all upset and starts yelling……some how it seems to be all my fault… he’s really a good kid but the yelling and foul language really doesn’t help and I already feel bad enough all on my own and with it wet outside and now inside….. I hear the dust bunnies under my bed calling my name…. telling me to come on there is still room under the bed for me and maybe even a chocolate chip cookie still under there too…..lol…. boy sure sounds tempting…… at least the dust bunnies aren’t yelling and they don’t blame me for all the problems of the world……he blames me for being sick….. that’s what it really comes down too. So he behaves just like his dad did and blames me for having FMS ….he can’t wait to get a way from me and “having to put up with all the things I can no longer do”. I try to laugh things off and tell him not to worry with the stuff I’ll call the management company when they open. And he gets mad at me  for “acting like it’s no big deal” when it is a real problem and not funny at all. So I laugh so that the tears don’t show as much at least until he goes back to bed. It hurt me deeply when he says that kind of stuff.  I’m really tired and worn out. I told myself when I started this blog that it was where I would tell the truth and what it is like living with this illness…. so here’s the truth….. TODAY REALLY, REALLY SUCKS!!!  Well just to show how lost I am in the fibro fog…lol…. today isn’t my son’s 19th birthday…… no his is the 18th of this month….. today is MY mothers birthday! Thank goodness he was just to mad for me to even think about wishing him a happy birthday….. yeah that would have went over real good…..something like “you being sick has even made you forget when I was born …good going mom” and he’d no doubt tell me again “you are totally useless”…….. now I am going under the bed and hug a dust bunny….. I’ll be under the bed and when I peek out and the dust has settled maybe our paths may cross again….. until then just leave a note written in all the dust if ya stop by before I peek out……. Lila

PLEASE NOTE IF YOU ARE READING THIS POST AND YOU ARE NOT ON THE WEB SITE “LILA LOST IN THE FIBRO FOG….” THEN WHAT YOU ARE READING HAS BEEN STOLEN AND IS BEING USED WITHOUT MY AUTHORITY AND I HOPE YOU WILL COME TO MY WEB SITE BLOG AT WORDPRESS  http://www.lilabyrdakabirdladybyday.wordpress.com 

[Via http://lilabyrdakabirdladybyday.wordpress.com]

Unconditional Love

Life with kids isn’t always a  picnic in the park.  But, I still love them unconditionally.

For the past week I’ve been crocheting Christmas bonnet wall ornaments.  I give them out for Christmas presents to family and friends because money is very tight right now.  It take me six hours to crochet each bonnet, not including the starching, drying, and decorating time.  It takes less than a minute to starch them but, the drying time exceeds 8 hours .  Decorating them takes about 15 minutes.  So, with that being said, it takes over fourteen hours for the finished project.

I have produced 10 bonnets of all different colors.  I was so proud of myself for getting them done in plenty of time for Christmas.  Dealing with the pain that Fibromyalgia entails, it was a feat in itself.  However, I endured the pain and fatigue just to make sure that there were enough gifts for everyone on my list.

This afternoon, after finishing my last bonnet and placing it on the starching board to dry, I retired to my bed for a nice long nap.  While images of smiling faces receiving my gifts danced through my head, I was quite unaware of what was going on in the living room.  To my despair, my two sons were wrestling and knocked over a cup of coffee that I had abandoned earlier.  When I opened my bedroom door, I almost cried.  Coffee was splashed all over my Christmas bonnets, table, chairs, floor, and the boys.

Once I had the mess cleaned up, I took inventory of what was salvageable.  I had only saved four ornaments.  Well… it’s back to the starching board.  Thank God I still have time.  Needless to say, the boys spent the rest of the night in their rooms.  But, from the heart of a mother, I still went upstairs and tucked them in, doled out hugs and kiss, and wished them a good night.  After all, a mothers love is unconditional.

[Via http://fingerprintglasses.wordpress.com]

How to Survive the Holidays With Fibromyalgia

How to Survive the Holidays With Fibromyalgia By Cynthia A Jones

I have had Fibromyalgia and Chronic pain for 25 years. In 2007 I finally discovered the cause of my Fibromyalgia flare-ups. Unfortunately during the years between 2001-2007 I was very sick everyday with tremendous pain.

What’s the old saying? “It’s darkest right before the dawn.”

Back then every single day when I opened my eyes my body would immediately go into a panic. I knew the infamous muscle fatigue was on the way as soon as my cells finished waking up. The best way I know how to describe the pain is that it’s my body’s fight or flight survival panic. My body seemed to be screaming internally for survival.

There were also many days when the body aches were so intense I could barely move. On those days depression was in control and I wanted to go off by myself and die, similar to an old dog.

Does this sound familiar to you?

Today as I recall those experiences the worst memories were during the holiday season. I love comfort food and always splurge during the holidays. I eat everything in sight, especially on Thanksgiving Day. Turkey and stuffing are my all-time favorites.

Unfortunately, the next morning while my family would be downstairs having breakfast, laughing and loving life, I would crawl to the bathroom from my bed immersed in pain.

Looking back, it makes perfect sense. I had no idea at the time that food was the cause of my pain and when did I eat the most? During the holidays.

Read every label on your meats carefully. If you see the words “basted, extra tender or juicy” written on your holiday turkey label it may contain a 15% toxic solution. The solution may include broth, sodium phosphates, citric acid and flavorings. These ingredients may contain MSG or excitotoxins that cause musculoskeletal pain. Always ask your butcher to order your meat without injected solutions.

When making your stuffing or casseroles use Swanson’s broth, it’s MSG free. Kitchen Basics’ stock is also free from ingredients that cause common food allergies. They do not autolyze, hydrolyze, add or produce MSG, which causes migraines and muscle pain.

I hope you and your family have a wonderful and painfree holiday season. Please click here to order a free report of the 65 cleverly concealed names which cause Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain.

Hello my name is Cynthia Jones and I’ve had chronic pain for 25 years. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia 10 years ago. I refused to take prescription drugs for the rest of my life! After exhaustive investigation and research, I finally discovered 100% of the excitotoxins in our food supply. I’ve found the cause of my pain – and with the elimination of these excitotoxins – my recovery. It has become my life’s purpose to help heal those in chronic pain.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Cynthia_A_Jones

[Via http://healthywellbeing.wordpress.com]

Seeing With Your Tongue

This is an incredible video on Neural Plasticity and the ability your brain has to Rewire itself.  As I’ve mentioned before, many chronic conditions such as fibromyalgia and chronic pain are disorders in the way the brain interprets pain signals. Fibromyalgia and other chronic conditions are neurological, brain based  problems that chiropractic neurologists have been treating using Neural Plasticity with good results.  Frederick Robert Carrick, DC, PhD, DACAN, DABCN, DACNB, DAAPM, FRCPN, FACCN, FAAFN, FEAC (Neurology), FACFN, FABVR, FABES, FABCDD, FICC, developed the brain based  techniques used by chiropractic neurologists which harness the power of neural plasticity to treat chronic pain, fibromyalgia, and many other neurological problems.  I was skeptical of these treatments until I saw them applied in clinical practice and WORK!  I now have a much better understanding of brain plasticity, and better understand the science and physiology behind why brain based therapies work.  This is truly cutting edge science and therapy for people that thought there were no other options.

This video is from PBS, and shows absolutely amazing work done by a group of neuroscientists that allow a blind man to see using the sensation of his tongue!  The therapy they are using works because of Neural Plasticity, the exact same thing I use in clinical practice to help patients with fibromyalgia, and chronic pain.  You have to see this video, the science and technology have the potential to change lives in ways we never thought possible.  These scientists are pioneers.

http://www.pbs.org/kcet/wiredscience/video/286-mixed_feelings.html

[Via http://drbradshook.com]